At the same time I decided to start masturbating with imagery of my male friends to see if I was bisexual. I had never had a wet dream about a male (still haven’t).
From the age of 16 I decided I was bisexual. I haven’t stopped masturbating left-handedly (I’m right-handed) since.
In the face of much sexual but little romantic (‘you’re in transition’ ; ‘you might be experimenting and revert’) interest I decided to start putting the ‘gay’ label on myself publicly at the age of 25 (2004).
Then when I had the main male love of my life in 2006 (27 years old) I started calling myself ‘gay’ in private with the knowledge that taxonomy thereof was bogus. I wanted to please my boy, who I loved.
He had had a main hetero relationship of 5 years (2001-2005). He once had sex with his partner while feeling another man’s semen in her vagina.
I had had a main hetero relationship of 2-4 years (1997-2001). I had had three gay relationships after that.
The boy’s and my relationship lasted from February 2006 – July 2006 officially (when I broke it up; he had only had gay beat sex and looked like a model – I needed him to realise how good looking he was – like the experience I had in my early years on Oxford Street, and he mistrusted females’ affirmation that he was hot, thinking they were manipulating him). We even lived together in a house March 2006 – August 2006, then in another house August 2006 – February 2007.
The moment I released him in June 2006 he got a batch of MDMA and we made true love for the first time. He broadened my horizons by hiring me as a an employee at his company for bushland regeneration and introducing me to DMT, LSD and psilocybin. I love him for that.
History remains to be told elsewhere... incredibly complex. But long story short, we ceased contact in April 2011 when I realised he was HIV positive, trying to infect me and lying about the fact that he had it. I’m HIV negative, thankfully.
I still direct my sexual attention to males as of mid 2014 and still masturbate with my left hand
Change hands? I might start living again.