I’ve had three DMT trips. The first was two years ago and was smoked DMT at my home. The second two were oral DMT trips at my guide’s clinic.
Trip 1.
In my first smoked trip I was with my ex. I smoked a cone and felt nothing. A minute later I had a second cone. Before I could put the bong down my curtain exploded kaleidoscopically into the ceiling. I put the bong down and lay on my bed. It was winter and my body burst into sheer heat; I had to throw off my clothes and breathe. I had fractals of red and green alternating with each other and moving at pace in precise geometrical beauty. I consciously marvelled at how powerful my subconscious mathematical mind was. Then I felt anxious and out of control. I hadn’t researched DMT and didn’t know if it had toxicity. I felt like I was dying. I’ve had several near-death experiences before and each time I’ve just surrendered and felt bliss and serenity. The same happened this time. I surrendered and just breathed. Then the Universe spoke to me (not in auditory mode - in “download” mode). It went to my first chakra and said nothing will ever kill me, but at the same time nothing sustains me except my own essence. I have causa sui. It said just relax and stop holding on. Then it went to my second chakra and said I need to have more fun and just enjoy life. Then it went to my sixth chakra and said “all of this is under the control of this chakra”. A purple and pink alternating ying/yang vision of the Universe as a man and woman kissing and turning into each other appeared. Then I dissolved. I had total ego death. I had no name, no body, no sense of “me”. I became one with the Universe, a Universe that was benevolent and had meaning. After five to ten minutes it all ended.
Trip 2.
My second DMT trip was an oral dose of 50mg with a MAO-inhibitor I will leave anonymous. I felt sleepy and my pupils dilated. A few times as I was falling asleep involuntary groans emanated from my throat. A popping noise happened inside my head. After an hour or so I just felt bored and got up and went to my guide’s office for a debriefing.
Trip 3.
My third DMT trip was extremely intense. I had 100mg with a MAOI. I had also been taking the MAOI as my anti-depressant. I took a largish dose in the morning. I also have a slight addiction to Valium/diazepam (maybe 20mg a day, sometimes more) and have been drinking alcohol to excess lately, after having given up a long cannabis addiction. The night before I had gotten drunk. That day I had no diazepam. I had hardly anything to eat. I had a bad fight with my ex and was deeply depressed. I didn’t tell my guide any of these things because I didn’t want him to keep the DMT from me. In the first stage of a DMT trip your GABA levels drop. Within 15 minutes visuals and a rush started coming on. I knew I was in for a big trip and felt exultant. But then the GABA drop hit. I had extreme anxiety and the visual hallucinations went at an incomprehensible pace. I had malevolent clowns flying at me. (It turned out later that my guide had a DVD set of Richard Dawkins, with a stencil-art picture of Dawkins on the front of it that I must have seen from a particular angle. I find Dawkins to be dishonest in both his reasoning and emotional motivations for his reasoning. His logic is faulty and disingenuous and raises my hackles. The picture of Dawkins was the prototype for my clown hallucinations. I laughed my arse off when I realised.)
My body became extremely hot and I felt nauseous.
I flew through, it seemed, at least three dimensions. I had benevolent beings putting up their hands in a “stop” gesture, saying that I wasn’t ready to go where I was going. One of them was Bart Simpson. I had extreme rushes of sound. I had a Janet Jackson track in my head called “Throb” which is virtually an instrumental dance track. It mixed with my auditory waves and mutated into an entirely new musical composition. It was an impressive composition which I could have manifested into the material realm if I could work electronic musical programs. I remembered the track and its elements for the rest of the day.
I had a rape scene of a woman being bent over the bonnet of a car. My mother in real life has recently been raped and deliberately run over. I have been suppressing my emotional reaction to these events because I have no control over them. DMT and psilocybin make me horny. I had to decide if the vision I was seeing was erotic or terrifying. I decided it was terrifying. I couldn’t see my mother clearly. Sometimes the woman mutated into Marge Simpson, who represents a mother figure to me. Then I realised I hadn’t spoken to my mother in a week and she could very well be dead (she lives in a really rough suburb with a lot of alcohol and crystal meth -fuelled violence). I was scared I would come into contact with her spirit and she wouldn’t be stable. A photo of her I haven’t seen for years came into distinct clarity and detail in front of my eyes. Then I saw a vision of Alice in Wonderland holding a long staff like those used in jousting. It was golden and had a curled, wrapped composition. It fired lasers. She shot someone and then was turning towards me before I opened my eyes and dispelled the vision. My ex is also involved in the DMT trial and had had a vision of Alice in Wonderland being impaled the week before, unbeknownst to me.
Then I reached my destination, a new dimension that seemed four levels removed from my own. Two discarnate, malevolent entities appeared in the corner of the room. They were not happy with my intrusion into their realm. They sent me telepathic messages. They berated me. They told me “how dare you come here. You’re not welcome. What are you doing here?” Then “We’re going to get to you in the second stage of the trip. We’re going to fuck with your head and punish you.” There was also an Aboriginal pattern of white dots in a circle with Aboriginal entities who weren’t malevolent trying to communicate with me. I had to politely decline because I was overwhelmed.
I turned on the light and stumbled out to my guide. I asked him in my oblivion and stuttering for a dose of “you know, the drug that blocks DMT”. He said “What drug?” I could barely speak. He took me back into the room and sat down with me, calmly reassuring me and asking about my experience. He said I could have a wafer of Zyprexa/olanzapine, but we both decided I should continue through the next two stages of the trip without it, despite my fear that the two malevolent discarnate entities would have their way with me in the second stage of the trip. He told me to take some diazepam. I took 20mg and he left. I had an urge to hug him. The rest of the trip I spent with the light on and trying to fight off the trip, probably unwisely.
My guide had another client in a room at the other end of the house. My hearing was so acute that I thought his door was open. I could hear every squeak of their chairs, every uttering. I thought it was a woman and I thought she was angry at my guide for having to have half an eye on me through her appointment. I considered going out and apologising to her. When my guide came back he said it was a male who was just raising his voice when getting angry about his partner.
I went back for my debriefing. I laughed copiously about the extremity of the trip. I also realised that I had realigned my belief viz a viz discarnate entities, who I had previously believed to be all benevolent. I realised there were nasty beings out there. I went into a state of bliss and relief. I felt great for hours afterwards and the next day.
DMT is in a class of its own in terms of psychedelics. It is utterly different to LSD. It is closer to psylocibin, but I have only had contact with benevolent beings on psylocibin, and psylocibin gives you a pleasant, MDMA-type rush at the beginning, whereas DMT gives you an unpleasant GABA drop.
Some references:
Apparent Communication with Discarnate Entities
Induced by Dimethyltryptamine
Overview of DMT: The Spirit Molecule, by Dr. Rick Strassman
Mysticism and DMT by Ananda
Pineal gland
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
