Magpie totem

Imagine if magpie was my totem. Ironic.

Dualism and sexuality

There’s definitely something about the male-female duality that drives heterosexual sex in itself, but the dualities that cluster around sexuality are manifold. It coincides with the fact that most sexual activity is 1 on 1. There’s something in the racial fetishes gay guys have. And a lot of polarised roleplaying. There’s trying to be, trying to be connected with, trying to discover etc in your own dual-self. Like in Jung about the opposite parts to your conscious personality lying in your subconscious. An interpretation of borderline using Jung would prove philosophically fruitful. Likely schizophrenia too.

Dad’s dual-sided mission

In psychoanalytic thinking, Dad’s great efforts, pride and success in being a thoughtful, effective teacher in a broad way would be put down to overcompensation for the fuckup of a farce that he perpetrated on me + RF. But in another way of thinking it would be said that it’s likely that one of his life-lessons, if not the most important lesson for him, involves the rearing of children esp re imparting information, discipline, supportiveness, etc. These have been the two main paths where he’s been able to approach these challenges.

Voting base switch

I can see Labor and Liberals making a lot of voting-base switching. Libs scooping up dumb-arse “aspirationals” and Labor taking chardonnay softies. Imagine Labor holding North Shore seats (Libs in Penrith and Campbelltown).

Poll category: hunch

Pollsters never include the category of “hunch” or “good vibes”, which may be a large driving factor for swing voters.

2 TV audiences for bad shows

For bad shows there’s two demographics - those that think it’s bad/camp and watch in an ironic way and people that take it for real. A show like that’s viable while the networks are still able to sell it with serious ads. When they switch to camp ads like the have with “Who wants to be a millionaire”, you know most of the audience is watching with a smirk and the show’s on the way out.

Meredith Hellicar is...

“Meredith Hellicar is…
SKELETOR FROM THE NORTH SHORE!”

Conservatism, choice by RF

Link between conservatism being pathology article and article on jam choice: maybe one reason for our conservatism right now is the blinding array of choice in all spheres of life we have.
Study of Bush's psyche touches a nerve
More isn’t necessarily better

Dramaholics and Earthboundness

One reason we can’t stop incarnating on this god-forsaken rock is that we actually love the drama of humans. We’re addicted to drama, all of us. And there is no sure/proven/obvious way to get over it. We sincerely wish an end to it deep down, and profess this desire on the surface, but in between there is some kind of perverse part of us preventing progression. Most people would consider the answer to involve intense personal willpower (which I do), but it’s possible that the answer is to be found through creativity/imagination and intellect. If that were the case, things would be a lot less guilt-laden.

Independent morality sources

This isn’t actually bringing on the crisis (it’s a synchronicity) but we’re at a point in human history where everybody deep down has stopped believing that God has laid down laws and we have access to them. We now know that we have to look to ourselves as arbiters of morality. Not many of us believe that this is a solid or legitimate foundation for morality; it’s just a matter of practicality because there’s nowhere else to turn. This is scary. Some of us have fled to fundamentalism. The rest of use are flailing in a feeling/illusion of moral emptiness and purposelessness.

I expend an enormous amount of energy just maintaining the veneer of normality, both in terms of social behaviour and performance of daily activities. It’s a massive stress on myself.

Maybe what I did with CB and MS was gravitate to people that had some of my parents’ flaws and then offloaded them onto each other in a doomed enactment of whatever paradigm Mum + Dad enacted.

Gender identity and cycling in development

Maybe in different phases of your development you identify with one gender more than the other, and it changes/cycles. The effect this has on aspects of personality depends on the duration of the development phase of certain aspects, and the rapidity and intensity of cycling. The obvious one is sexual desire development, which would affect sexuality. A picture:
[diagram]
This could affect the statistics on men who have gone through puberty early being more likely to be “gay”. Their sexual development phase might actually be longer and thus contain more psychic movement into their feminine side, making for more conscious bisexuality.

Short story idea about some brain-addling disease (slow-progressing) that’s transferred through sexual fluids touching skin.

What Mr Z did

There is more to the story than hitting some guy being the reason for his 6 months in prison. Mugging gay guys who thought they’d picked up (down alleys? What did the gay guys think they were going down the alley with them for?). I can tell him a lot more about myself than I thought. And I have to make contact before he dies.

Relating to adults

I’ve realised I’m starting to reach the point where I can be friends with mature adults. How bizarre. I always relate as an underling. For instance I can actually count CP as a friend. Although she’s young at heart.

God’s drug gift

Drugs are one of the best things God gave us. They remind us that it’s actually possible to feel good again. Sometimes they give a brief taste of heaven (esp MDMA). And they are also a temptation to be an easy/lazy route to mood relief that always has to be paid for dearly. And there is no heroism in doing the right thing when that is the only option, or even the easiest option.