Eminem and babyboomers

Eminem is holding a mirror up to society. He is saying that we can’t avoid consequences of our actions. He’s feeding us back our by-product and we don’t like the taste of it.

Babyboomers didn’t bother to raise us properly and now they wonder why we’re such an intense generation. You left us by ourselves in front of the TV eating sugar and salt and fat and chemicals while you worked like a slave so you could participate in consumer culture. Do you know what we watched? Do you know what we’ve seen and talked about on the net? Do you know the neural connections that were formed and forever solidified by years of Sega? We turned to drugs as soon as they were offered by the first person that took an interest in us. We suffered the depression of a 45 year old when we were 15. We are the most educated generation in history. Not just formally, in the way that you know about. We’re educated in ways that are utterly foreign to you coz you grew up in a foreign era.

The funniest thing is that you think you deceive us! We have your cynicism and wiliness x1000. We’ve had to fight for ourselves. You felt like you had mastered adulthood once mummy cleaner let you dress yourself and you had a toke on a j at a party. And you people expect us to look after you when you collapse into incapacity after a lifetime of neglecting us, the planet, the 3rd world, etc. Fuck you! There is nothing funnier than hearing the babyboomers chattering on about how society is going to be able to look after them later on. Wake up! We’re gonna control society later on. And we’re gonna repay your kindness. I would consider it overly generous if we left you in the lounge room with a Sega and bag of potato chips, exposed you to hours of 20th century advertising that celebrates youth + beauty, made you watch Africans dying but tell you there’s nothing you can do, made you eat lead, DDT, coldmeat with the death-karma of 1000 animals mixed into every slice!, and generally ignored you.

But that aint gonna happen even. Our generation is breaking away from “man dominates Universe”. We know we’re meant to die at 60 and that cancer is the alarm clock that has no snooze button. We are not going to support you, so fuck off! You people don’t get it that we would rather anarchy, chaos, our own death than live like the vermin you’ve turned the human race into. We didn’t exist when the world wasn’t threatened with nuclear annihilation. We can’t imagine not having that gun pointed at our heads. We survived abuse by adults around us who would put on their Ronald McDonald kindness mask when other adults were around. We are intimately versed in the mechanics of violence thanks to TV. We have nothing to live for. We are not going to turn into you. Even now you’re a joke. In 20 years’ time as more of your follies unravel it will just degenerate into comedy. Understand this: we don’t give a fuck about anything. We are not afraid of anything. We are angry. Our anger is finding some release right now, but when we focus our anger on the people that fucked us up, that’s when the shit will hit the fan, the babyboomers will pay and we can start fixing the planet.

Anyway how dare babyboomers try to censor Eminem. You created the Frankenstein. You people took a crap in the corner behind the potplant and in stunk out the whole room. Thought we wouldn’t find it? Eminem did. And now sit back and fucken eat it. The more you try to shut your lips the harder we’re gonna shove the spoon down your throat.

This will be a message that will be heard. We’re gonna pipe muzak versions of Eminem into your nursing homes, motherfuckers. And you should be grateful to us coz the more of your own turd you eat while you’re still alive the less you’ll have to get through after death. The most immoral generation ever spawned the most moral generation. You people just can’t see what true morality is. You were the first generation to have mass democracy, access to technology, opportunity to fix things, liberated ideas. It’s a crime what you’ve wasted.

Karma can work collectively like knowledge. The West will pay an increasing price till we liberate the 3rd world.

Last year was a lesson for me. I thought that it was just a case of onward and upward after my childhood. And 2000 was awesome. But 2001 was right into the Top 5 worst years of all time on debut. I’m never gonna be complacent about happiness periods ever again.

Subconscious and karma

Everything’s determined by cycles (fate). Our subconscious can influence cycles (free will). Whence karma? Usually we think of it as energy in the Universe. Probably. It might also be our subconscious punishing ourselves/rewarding ourselves. Before I thought my karmic energy was powerful and that’s why people that fuck me over get fucked up. Now I’m thinking it might be that I have a vindictive and/or powerful subconscious.

Masculine aggression

Males have obviously evolved to be aggressive. There’s a huge testosterone level difference between men and women. Testosterone = aggression increase. Despite our best efforts to neuter ourselves through oestrogen-mimicking chemicals in our food and environment, this will continue to be the case for a while. So our political/economic structures need to reflect this. Aggression, lack of empathy, violent instincts, desire to propagate your own kind at the expense of others, etc: not good traits for leaders. Till we put everyone in the places they should be in, we’re gonna have continuing problems with gender identity issues, war, subconscious desire to feminise everyone and self, cut-throat/uncaring economic systems, lack of respect for difference, environment, etc. Like Fight Club says, we’re a generation of men raised by women. We don’t have male idols/father figures. Oedipal issues weren’t resolved by identifying with the father. We don’t know how to be masculine. We’re sexually attracted to people regardless of sex. The best exemplars of masculinity in our society has to offer are gay. This is because they were bathed in massive amounts of androgens in the womb and it offset the feminisation of the body caused by millennial society. Testosterone levels are higher throughout life. And the brain is actually feminised before birth by the excess androgens. Guys this didn’t happen to end up being fat slobs with no symmetry, bad posture, bitch tits and hetero. I consciously repress my masculine side because I’m scared it’ll explode violently and I hate its selfishness, misogyny, etc. And also because it makes it hard to fit into society, school, work, etc. No doubt all men are repressing their masculine side (consciously or unconsciously) to survive in millennial society. Males’ victory over women has turned into catastrophe for themselves.

Borderline energy fields

If borderlines upped their self-esteem, they’d stop underestimating how intensely they affect everyone. They would turn their energy fields down coz they’d realise it’s engulfing everyone like moths to the flame. They would cancel all manoeuvres to display their genes. They would take care not to let the people around them get insecure.

Tennis and bipolar

Tennis is a bipolar instigator. The players are bipolar. The format of the scoring system is wildly bipolar. Serving is such an advantage that the games usually cycle on serve. The first 2 points feel like big leaps (worth 15 points). Then they slow you down with the 3rd point (worth 10 points)). You have to win the game by two points clear otherwise it keeps cycling between deuce and advantage. You have to win the set by 2 games clear or it goes to a tiebreak. Tiebreaks cycle with 2 serves each at a time. You have to win by 2 points clear. A whole set’s worth of play (usually an hour) is reduced to the ability to achieve a minibreak (ie win a point on the other person’s serve). Dividing the match up into sets lets the players start all over again every once in a while. So the match depends on players’ abilities to push themselves into a frenzy on vital points while still maintaining their cool. To do this best they have to idle well in between. Ie they have to manage their bipolarity. So I guess it’s bipolar inhibitory, not excitatory. For the players anyway.

Last names and feminism

Women have to stop adopting their husband's last names. It denudes them of identity. Your name gives out so much energy. The energy given out by the movements made by your hand when you write your name makes an impact on the Universe and its impact is as distinct as a fingerprint. A neural connection fingerprint is made to correspond with the movements made in your hand. Neural connections that can be used for movement can also be used for emotion, rationality, etc. Ditto with the aural impact made on the Universe by the enunciation of your name. Ditto the visual impact of your printed name, especially if most of the letters and documents you're bombarded with that bear your name are printed in similar typesets and font sizes. Etc etc. Women shouldn't make this sacrifice. For their sacrifices women shouldn't feel that it's their right to sneakily harm the husband or take back energy in ways that the husband senses but doesn't understand. Stop hurting in cycles. Women have to take responsibility for allowing men to fuck them up. Men should stop underestimating women. They should stop being pseudo-feminists. They have to realise that all the harm they do to women is coming right back at them with interest.

Bipolarity, narcissism, omnisexuality

There’s a link between our increasing bipolarity, narcissism, omnisexuality, self-consciousness and inversion of actual power relationships when translated into our private thoughts. Can’t be bothered thinking about it. Kind of getting over writing things down, actually.

Memes and the end of history

We laugh at Hegel’s end of history fetish. But maybe his mistake was just underestimating how drawn out civilisation’s downfall would be. He was around the time of the whole science/industrialisation thing, wasn’t he? When the theory of evolution caught on all it took was a small jump of thought to realise that we would soon be changing its rules. That our ideas would become powerful enough to rival our physicality as an evolutionary influence. Well it’s happening now. It just took longer than we thought. We just got the pill 30 years ago and mass condom use 15 years ago.
I know! I’m always troubled by whether change is happening faster now than before. To guide with making bold assertions like “technology is advancing more rapidly than ever” I could collate a bunch of graphs of various indicators and try to gauge when things get manic.
Problem: arbitrary use of physically measured intervals on paper to represent relationship between phenomenon and time units gives arbitrary representation of steepness of curve. There’s another way I’m sure. Damn! I’m gonna have to learn calculus again. I’ll probably have to wait till the curve stops being exponential and then plot events around this point. (Presumably all phenomena are ultimately cyclical and there’s no such thing as true/natural exponentiality).

Fiction's truth

Anyone that gives credence to anything I’ve written is a fool. All explanatory models are wrong. Listen to me! We should ignore all non-fiction if we want to learn about stuff that really matters. Entertainment. There’s no more direct access available to us to our true selves than entertainment for entertainment’s sake. Fuck the art, craftsmanship or hidden messages. They’re a wanky distraction from fun. Having fun will tell you more about yourself and the Universe than anything else. You can’t fake enjoyment to yourself. It’s the only spontaneous, unmediated expression of our subconscious. (And I’m talking about non-drug-affected fun, kiddies). The truest experience you can have with a book is to read some killer fiction and ignore the art/messages. On this note I have to say I’ve never read a writer I’ve loathed as much as Jeanette Winterson. I enjoyed Oranges are not the only fruit. But when I read the intro to it and the first part of “Art Objects” I was actually gripped by physically violent impulses. Which probably means that her stuff is the truest (for me) stuff I’ve ever read. The gap in my knowledge would of course by filled from a source I have a profound aversion to.

I find it hard to decide on the best thing to do. I generate all the possibilities like in a chess game, but can’t tell which one is ultimately the best. When I know what I love and hate, I’m adamant about it, but only in those rare cases. It’s not that I’m not practical. I’m practical in theory. I mean I always am practical when I know what the most practical route is. There are intellectual problems about what is ultimately “best” and “practical”, but this isn’t the biggest problem for me. There’s a problem for me knowing what route meshes well with the rest of society. There’s a problem with care-factor. There’s a problem with me wanting to please everyone I care about at the same time. There’s a problem with me constantly underestimating or overestimating my impact and the impact of my decisions on others.

Lifepuzzle

It’s like we’ve been planted in a giant puzzle and have to get out like in the movie Pi. We’ve done pretty well really. Though perhaps more people got out in the past than now. Maybe that’s why it’s so overcrowded coz new players keep jumping in but no one is good enough to stop reincarnating. If it’s a team event - go team Earth! - then we must surely be bringing up the rear. Maybe you have to rediscover your skills once in a while coz you get lazy, bored and fat in Heaven. If you can’t get out of the puzzle you’re not worthy anyway. And maybe the phenomenal structure built into the game gives us the clues to the riddle. Eg maybe Newton’s theory provides part of an answer when combined with, say, the sociological dynamics of 3way love affairs. Maybe the power of analogy itself (and we’re all aware of that) is a hint that we have to find answers indirectly like this. Combining disparate story models gives you an entry point for discerning common patterns in everything. These would be the more basic patterns of the Universe, the ones that really matter. One pattern that might be making the contestants fight amongst themselves is the fact that everyone sees patterns at different levels. So we can’t communicate coz the Universe truly is different for us and yet we enter into disagreements coz we think we’re all experiencing the same thing. How can we both talk about an apple falling when you see two objects with mass exercising gravity on each other and I see the spirit of the apple rejoining mother Earth? Both are equally “true”. It’s great to discover complex/obscure patterns in the game show set, but the contestants should realise that these are just manifestations of more fundamental patterns interacting with each other. Ie the basic patterns are more important than the complex ones, not vice versa. Kind of like pure light being split into different colours that are refracted at different angles.

Flattery, bullying, manipulation

People can only make opinion-decisions/opinion-changes when they feel secure. One way of doing this is to make them feel superior to something. This something is made the butt of jokes, bullied. You laugh at the stupid shit that the 3rd party does. This makes the manipulatee avoid doing the stuff the 3rd party does. Iin reality there may be no such 3rd party. It’s just a strawman set up to make the morons think there’s someone more moronic than them out there. It keeps them on side. They don’t feel defensive.

Rupert Murdoch's revolution

Something’s going on at News Corp. There is a force in there that is extremely powerful and is emitting - either consciously or unconsciously - revolutionary energy. Check out the bipolarity instigators that News Corp is building into our experience. The channel-flicking, subject-changing, rhythm-chopping bliss of ADDogenic cable TV. Making tabloid journalism such a parody of itself that 90% of the population feel above it, are wary of the media, cynical and able to laugh at and distance themselves from the bigotry spewed by it. Lachlan’s open secret and the Sarah O’Hare thing. Rupert’s repeated self-mocking appearances in The Simpsons. The Simpsons mocking Fox and Fox icons. The Mulder/Scully duality. The suspicion of authority and integration of explanatory models celebrated by the X-files. Endless generation-X irony, cynicism and detachment (which is largely feigned and bound to boomerang back as heightened moral concern in 20 years, just like the ‘60s hippies ended up raping the planet in the ‘80s). The easy shedding of nationality for personal gain by possibly the globe’s most powerful private citizen. Ironically helping to liberate China with the help of a mega-corporate media entity. Fox owns Fight Club (the movie).

Refusing to give a fuck about the things our rulers want us to give a fuck about gives us the energy to give a fuck about the things that really matter.

The political plane (with DB)

We woke up on this doomed 747 banking uncontrollably. All the morons sat in the middle of the plane watching Kate + Leo in Titanic on the inflight entertainment system. We ran to the left side of the plane, looked out the window at the unwashed, stoned hippy clinging onto the tip of the wing. We ran to the right side, looked out the window at the CEO, tie and briefcase tailing into the night, no longer looking so smug and comfortable. We thought, Fuck this, I’m going up to “speak” to the pilot.

One of the most important and underrated human talents is perspective. We have to study the genetics and neurochemistry of it. It’ll throw up heaps of methodological and philosophical problems.

I’m shy of people I’m sexually attracted to. They hold the most power over me out of any1. Oh my god! I just realised I don’t respect any1 except people I want sexually. (There are exceptions. Plus lately my personality’s been more integrated so I’m broadening who I’m giving respect to). I’m not shy of people intellectually coz I don’t need affirmation from them and I can intellectualise happily in isolation. But to get sex you need to be desired by someone else. You’re interdependent with them. It’s a loss of power relative to how powerful I normally feel within myself. That’s why I always wait for other people to come onto me or I only come onto them when I’m absolutely 100% sure they’re dying to have sex with me. And that’s why I don’t give a fuck about accomplishing anything except having sex with hot people or being wanted by hot people. Does this mean that, to succeed in other areas of my life, I’m gonna have to lessen my own confidence (/complacence) in those areas? (To have near-100% confidence in anything is craziness in itself anyway).

I’m a great extrapolator/drawer of analogies. I extrapolate too much. Especially when stoned. Eg just then I said to myself that I should stay home from the gym coz my body still feels too weak from last time. I ignored the fact that I felt OK yesterday, haven’t eaten, haven’t woken up properly + am stoned. I felt weak. I felt tense/anxious. I wasn’t looking forward to going to the gym. I was thinking of the gym. That’s all that was going on in my head. So my head worked with the fodder it had been given and came to a totally dodgy conclusion. My stupidity is usually the refusal to factor in all (or even many)) considerations. My geniusis the ability to makeup any story I want to given a limited # of facts.

Need to balance instinct and pattern recognition. I’m too instinctive. But when I seize on a pattern, I obsess and it’s counterproductive.

I yearn for authority. I thought I hated it. I definitely hate people telling me what to do. No human has any right to demand anything from me whatsoever, and I always knew that fact, but never knew why. I became an adult at 7 and never respected authority since. Then all the teachers I was smarter than. All the stupidity surrounding me. My disgust for religion. My disgust for politics. Bureaucracy. Law. Big companies. I’m scared of authority. I’m always practical. I always wanted approval from authority, but I always lose respect for every authority that comes along before the authority has a chance to approve. If I do obtain approval, by that time it’s worthless. I don’t think I’ll ever meet someone smarter. In certain areas, yes, but my brain-strength is such now that I can easily import my knowledge into new areas and quickly surpass the teacher. I used to comfort me but now it’s upsetting. I used to need to feel #1 for self-esteem - perhaps I still do - but now I need to feel understood. I need a teacher, someone wise in stacks of areas. I feel lonely. I’m always shoving my knowledge down everyone else’s throats coz I want them to come with me. But I need to feel like I can rely on someone. I’m such a control freak. I always feel like I’m the only one that can make decent decisions. This is probably the emotional catalyst for my attempt to show that there’s a personal god/subconscious. And then Nirvana feels communal, higher, all-knowing, all-Universe. I just feel so lost.

I’m tripping out a bit thinking that if I stumble across too many answers, I’m gonna solve major riddles enter Nirvana or a higher plane. I don’t want to cease to exist as we know it until I can tell every1 about what I’ve learnt. But I’m existing as much as ever, showing that I’ve got a long way to go and I’m wrong on a lot of counts. So my continued human existence should keep my arrogance in check. God knows nothing else is.

One way of illustrating my point about the non-immediacy criterion for syntheticness

Let’s use a simple addition like Kant did as the example. But this time to really drive home the non-immediacy of the truth in a simple addition equation, let’s take a non-decimal number system. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 10. Now what is 5 + 5? You leap to “10” like you’ve been indoctrinated to do. You’re wrong. This shows you how little intuitive grasp you have over even simple additions once your addition table memory is stripped from you. Now that our symbolism is faltering, try getting in touch with the raw meaning of 5 + 5. It’s even a struggle to imagine 5 things. First you have to make a judgment of what sense to imagine it in. Of course you’ll choose visual, but just notice what assumptions/prejudices we’re building into the concept of 5 + 5 already. Next you have to make an assumption of unity of object. That is, you have to presume that it makes sense to conceptualise a single object demarcated from the rest of the Universe. Nnext you have to decide on an object. Apples? Next you have to assume that it makes sense to think of more than 1 thing. I mean, if you take an apple, there is only one apple in the Universe that’s the same. So if you group 5 apples, you’re gonna have 5 different things. Where do you draw the line for too much difference to be counted as a type of object being counted? Arbitrary.
Counter-argument 1: If imagining, imaginings can be perfect.
Counter-argument 2: Doesn’t matter coz everything’s arbitrarily made up by us - all something needs to be an apple is for humans to think it’s an apple.
Next to grasp the raw meaning of 5 + 5 we have to somehow group the 2 groups together and ascertain what symbol we should give it. If you can actually imagine 5 objects, see if you can imagine 2x this. Does it give you a meaningful answer? For me personally all I can come up with is a visually imagined cluster of apples that I imagine to approximate the decimal system’s “10”. And even that picture is vague coz when I think of the group the apples lose their individuality/appleness. When I think of one of the apples I can’t think of the group. So we’re gonna have to fall back on the tried + tested counting technique to get our answer:

[diagram]

5 +5 = 14. So even a kindergarten addition in mathematics - which is meant to be the most non-arbitrary, objective field of human learning - turns out to conceal layers of synthesis. More layers than even Kant realised.

Nostradamus and Japanese people

Why does Nostradamus appeal to Japs? Is there some problem with their ability to reason that makes them incapable of sussing him out? Does this impact/is it caused by culture/economy etc?

One way of jumping out of a dialectic is to wilfully propagate 1 side but utterly detach and make it hilarious. Play a role.

“Time” is troubling. No one has really given us great insights about it (my faves so far would be Kant + Einstein). I’m personally slightly obsessed with it (one explanation for this is that I need structure coz of ADD). I know when things happened in my life, etc. Anyway it’s obviously something we’re gonna have to transcend. It’s like it’s a Holly wood se that makes palatable our perception that we progress, learn. But if there’s not time, there’s no “progress” and “learning” coz these concepts have “time” built into them. The ideas of “progress” and “learning” (+ others) are there so we can realise that everyone has the potential for both zero-capacity and full-capacity (and in between). Remembering when you couldn’t do something should be a hint that every talent is accessible to you (but not a part of you). To make this explicit to ourselves, we have to stretch the continuums of capacity-noncapacity along a line we identify as representing “time”. All the cycles I’ve raved about would just be simplistic ways of representing something that is understandable without incorporating the concept of time. What is it?

Borderlines/ADDs are meant to have muddy senses of self. It’s coz they chop + change in lifestyle/views/mood etc so much that it’s meant to be disorienting for them. It’s true in a way. An unreflective AMD person has nothing to anchor their self-perception. A reflective or even just plain intuitive AMD person is actually more in touch with their true selves than normal people though. Instead of settling into picket fence life and drawing self-perception from the things around them, AMDs can whittle away at all the transient stuff and get an idea/feel of the core self. The non-core stuff includes social position, appearance, career, most personality traits, mood, luck, talent. Normal people are stuck in the ignorance of constructing their self-sense out of non-core contingencies. If not religious, they can have their self-esteem dashed easily. The core self seems wafer-thin + uninteresting once you subtract all the attributes you thought it had. But it’s complex and it’s the real deal. It’s the subconscious, the personal god that’s all-wise and does all the ultimate decision-making on your conscious, non-core self’s behalf, while letting your conscious self think it’s in control. All the times you got fucked over your subconscious did it in on purpose to teach your conscious self something. If the AMD is lucky enough to get “diagnosed” then they have even more of an impetus to remove non-core traits from their self-sense. They realise that their inability to maintain long-term relationships isn’t part of them, it’s a brain chemical contingency, etc.

This is kind of like Buddha or something. Ditching material stuff, etc. It also explains why some AMD people go off on drugs much more than core-ignorant people. The AMD is more secure in their core self and is able to wholeheartedly throw off the shackles of contingent traits and party hard. The core-ignorant draw security from contingent traits and hate discarding them in a drug frenzy. Relax!

I feel guilty about ignoring / being in denial about Mum’s suffering re mental problems. This emotion bites. But I had 2 actually be in someone’s shoes before I could feel guilt. My survival talent is stronger than my (extreme) talent for empathy, and switches the latter talent off. Feeling guilt is a sign of recovery. My emotional mind has caught up to the fact that I’m no longer in danger + can let my survival skills rest a bit.

Some things just don’t translate from the US to Australia. Eg Cutco. Eg John Anderson emulating his Republican counterparts by wearing makeup, using screens to soften his face.

I’ve got a huge talent for translating stuff for the masses. It’s coz my left brain IQ is relatively low, especially when I’m put on the spot / am required to perform in real time. To talk to myself in my own thoughts, to assign symbols + remember them, to be creative, I have to translate the stuff going on in my right brain so that it can be used by my left brain. I’m not good at switching between the 2. I’m usually stuck in my right brain. When I’m manic, the stuff my right brain generates / obsesses over gets translate en masse for use by the left brain. Hence the need to talk and write about it all. I know I have a brief window, get excited + just plain speed off my dial. I feel like I’ve had shock therapy. To get out of depression you should up your serotonin + dopamine massively for a week or so, bring yourself 2 a nice idle just above equilibrium + then get stuck into life. I’m gonna have 2 do stuff like that to get my insights out + to function like a normal person. It’s OK to go into the right brain occasionally to generate ideas but don’t do it to yourself too often.

Stop making science the vanguard of our train of progress! Scientists are the footsoldiers, not the leaders. Don’t let their spectacular success trick us into thinking they are the ones that we should listen to. Remember that they have closed minds. They have a standard of proof that bears no relation to the standard of proof humans have evolved to use in normal life. They compartmentalise so wildly that their isolated findings - while useful when integrated later on - can actually mislead us coz they have nothing to do with real life. They are freaks that have no social life + are ugly + dull. Accept leadership from them? Nope. That’s what’s made us the retarded little cluster of organisms hilariously killing/poisoning themselves with their own creations.
Remember that science proves to you years later what you instinctively knew all along. It’s better to trust the wisdom of the old wives now than only convert when science “proves” it in 50 years’ time when it’s too late.

On serotonin/dopamine uppers

I’ve been allowing latent emotions / ways of thinking 2 resurface. When my chemicals were low my subconscious made sure that these skills were switched off so that I’d survive. The emergence of a feeling like, say, nurture-drive during a period of uncertainty can rip someone apart who is as emotional as I am. But on the serotonin/dopamine uppers I’ve been having these feelings/thoughts happen. Because they’re not familiar, they scare me. I have a cone. But they haven’t been that bad. They’ve been slightly painful but kind of gentle. It’s coz I expect them to balloon into the state of total emotion immersion I usually go into when experiencing an emotion without serotonin/dopamine uppers. But they don’t usually now. I’ve glottal let myself ride them. It’s emotional exercise. You’ve gotta exercise all of your emotions regularly. If they’re all strong but easily relaxed, your emotional brain will be a smoothly running machine. And your powers of reasoning will be enhanced since reasoning is actually closely entwined with emotion, both on a philosophical level and on a neural level.

I remember in 1st year psych they showed us pictures of a guy + girl who were actually constructed by morphing heaps of photos into 1. The lecturer said that thye were rated best looking. I think that whatever the measure used was, it must have given high points for breadth of appeal rather than intensity. They weren’t great, but appealing. I think I’m the same. I’m not a model but I appeal a lot 2 a lot of people. I’m very average. And the same with my personality. Every1 likes something about me. Some people hate me, but I still make an impact ie my personality is readily accessible to almost everyone.

Message to the moron rent-a-crowd set

When blockading something, form like this:

[diagram]

Notice that there is no contact between fellow protesters. Stand close enough to each other to prevent passage. An appropriate amount of space will make sure that unity of the mob is maintained without tipping it into a confrontational mood. There should be silence or low-key chatting between protesters. No signs. Have messages on T-shirts. Large letters, short + sweet, metaphoric, term-coining etc. Every1 should make themselves feel passive + peaceful. Project love into the Universe. Think healing, not fighting. The people who don’t realise are actually sick, not hostile. The cops will have to drag you away 1 by 1 (coz there is no line 2 break in 1 movement. Also it looks OK on TV to smash a strong chain of people, but not 2 bowl over a bunch of individual people). This might actually increase the chances of arrest but when you’re arrested with 1000 others it’s the cops that pay the price, not you. Unless you’re betting on a law career. You are, aren’t you, you sneaky little pseudo-socialist. You realise that the moronic angry hippie tactics you pursue make no1 listen to the words of socialists, don’t you? And it’s OK 4 u coz you will be able 2 get a rich job later on.

Why does the Detroit area produce so many genius musicians, I hear you ask. Madonna, Eminem, The Supremes, Stacey Pullen etc, etc. And not a one of them sane. Bipolar. Petrol fumes. Motor city. Smell of a wet rag.

The reason I’m so honest isn’t because I’m a good person. It’s coz I’m acutely conscious of all the deception around me + think that every1 else is just as conscious of my deceptions (self- and deliberate) as I am of theirs. And to pull off what I would consider a passable lie the concentration + talent at maintaining linearity required is lacking in me except when the chips are totally down. In those situations I deserve an Oscar.

I’m gonna have to somehow get all this stuff into the public domain so I can satisfy my craving to instruct + stop bugging my friends with unwanted advice.

My gut feeling is that computer chips + electricity conduits in general will have to start using 120 degree angles more often. 90 degree angles must surely hinder electrical flow or release excess heat or something.

Cultural/political revolutions often coincide with changes in the health of the population. Popular dances can alter the health… Macarena was detrimental. The Twist, break dancing + current pop/R+B/hiphop dancing are good. They improve the strength of the midbody + back muscles. Good for digestion, liver + lungs. Good for posture = good for spine = good for brain.
The Twist helped usher in the ‘60s revolution, but it was the wasteful drugfucked ways of the hippies that screwed it up.
Ironically the fitness/body-image/education obsession spawned by ‘80s-’90s capitalism will help prepare us for the next revolution. We’re riding on the coattails of capitalism’s successes til we can harness them in the next socialist phase. Capitalism’s a hothouse of creativity. Socialism’s a peaceful, loving, just place. Cycle!

Half of our experience is impressed on the world by us. Actually that was really badly worded. Just think kind of like in Kant’s Critique. Anyway half of the tone of an era is made up of the mood we were in. I always buy so many CDs in summer.

Japanese height

Has any1 bothered to research the effects on Jap culture of their rapid height increase in last 50 years? Things to consider:
- Increase in testosterone, other hormones
- Consumption increase
- Proportional + absolute differences b/w men + women in height
- Timing of puberty
- Attitudes to authority figures
- Competitiveness
- Imputation of Westerness to tall people?
- Head issues coz of proportion of penis 2 body changed
- Attitudes to elderly
- Body space issues in cramped Japan
- Tall people die earlier

Story models

Humans are born story-tellers. We have enough conceptual and perceptual ability to need stories to explain the world to ourselves. But all stories are dialectically false unless an infinite number of explanatory models are combined into 1. Of course impossible because making up an infinite # of stories is impossible. But also impossible coz we need 2 believe our story to deal with it. (Hence the power of hypotheticals - they induce temporary belief.) Not many people can compartmentalise their minds well enough to believe both Newton’s + Einstein’s theories, let alone deal with them simultaneously in a fluid way. Add on a supernatural story to these 2 stories? Forget it.

Aborigines + evolution

I think Kooris are the pinnacle of human evolution at the moment. They escaped the confines of civilisation. They weren’t defiled by the extraneous evolutionary factors that made everyone else so warped. Members of their race are the best looking, most athletic, most sociable + resourceful people. Especially after 200 years of colonisation - only the best of the best would have gotten through.
And Kooris have the most problems fitting into the new world order. But they should chill. It’s not shameful to be unable to conform to a sick system. I’d rather be a great evolutionary specimen than have the “talent” of being able to sit at a computer screen for hours on end or of being submissive to customers.
I think Kooris should tell every1 else to go fuck themselves. Watch who survives once civilisation crumbles.

If we achieve immortality thru genetics, etc, there’ll be a revolution. If it happens while the world is still pseudo-capitalist then the rich filth will seize on it, trying to project their diseased phalluses into eternity. The non-procreating immortal elite will feed off the mortal, evolving poor. The poor will overthrow the rich. There will be a mass death. Or the rich will commit genocide on the poor, while keeping enough of them to be free slaves. Rich people hate working. Meanwhile the rich will implode from dissonance with the Universe. Anyway, socialism will result. If immortality happens while we’re in a socialist phase, it might be granted to every1, with every1 sterilised. Then you’d have nihilist squads. They’d try to purge us from the Earth, secure in their desire for death but their desire to take as many people down with them as much as possible. (Immortality won’t stop us dying from accidents. So we’ll all stay in our homes trying to protect our immortality from mishap).

To have self-esteem is to be oblivious to the contradiction inherent in yourself. It’s an act of stupidity. But I’d rather be wilfully stupid than have a suicide drive. I’d rather be a moronic American fucked up on chemicals + McDonald’s, pledging allegiance to a bright piece of cloth than be a Jap suicide pilot fucked up on the perfection of zen + origami. Blondes do have more fun. Hedonism is pathetic + animal-low but nihilism’s a real drag, man. Err on the side of stupidity + you’ll feel good until you decide to make the jump into Nirvana.

Wittgenstein had a drive to nihilism. The thin ice, perfect and ungraspable. That’s why he sought to censor our use of language. What a stupid fucker. And yet smarter than anyone. He was a prissy little fag that was unhealthily obsessed with tidying up the house of philosophy + language. But in his queeny fluster he threw out all the cool knick knacks I collected over the years. You’ll be passado when you have nothing to blu-tack things to wall with, dude.

Contradiction and nihilism

Anything surplus to zero is a contradiction due to the fact that all facts are dialectical. So nihilism is actually love of perfection. Take sides: love of chaos + filth + evil or love of purity, sterility, nothingness and holiness. The former is love of life + fear of death. The latter is the converse. If you idealise life, love contradiction. If you idealise death, love perfection.

The stronger you make your body, the more chance you have of withstanding the flashes of brilliance your mind produces. Healthy bodies reign in manic episodes quicker.

The difference between reasons + excuses is just whether the listener + speaker happen to be on the same side of a dialectic.

There’s an article in theonion.com about the retro clock overtaking real time. Our increasing self-consciousness + self-consciousness of our self-consciousness must be some kind of measure of our culture’s imminent collapse/renewal.

I think hexagons slow cycles down. Triangles speed them? We don’t need triangles right now! Or maybe hexagons are the normal speed, the medium b/w circles + triangles? And coz we’re going at a speed in between the hexagonal + triangular right now, I’m craving hexagonal influence? Speeding the cycles hastens their frenzied, cataclysmic end. Slowing them to a stop would end a cycle as well. Slowing to mid-tempo actually prolongs cycles’ longevity, maintaining status quo. Like reformist socialism actually being capitalism’s unwitting best friend by softening it, making it liveable. Things only change when the mob is really pissed. So maybe hexagons are reactionary in a way. I don’t know if I wanna help or hinder, coz it’ll be the opposite in the end. But maybe the opposite of that will be the true ending. It’s beyond my or anyone’s power to decide. Einstein solved heaps of problems, which gave us the A-bomb which killed heaps, which saved heaps of lives, brought peace, then MAD + cold war (which was cold thanks to the bomb) etc, etc. Einstein moaned but maybe he’d be happy with how it turned out. It’s not his call anyway.

I’m sure we all have our own personal clocks. Think of their relative speed in terms like those we use for different objects in the theory of relativity.

I’m peaking out because I’m realising that my philosopy is entirely original, but my philosophy itself entails that it’s not original at all, just the latest manifestation of an eternal cycle. Though there is room in my philosophy for a coincidence of high parts in cycles. Like an alignment of planets. And the bipolarity created by reflection on/practice of the philosophy means that you fly to the most extreme/radical explanations on both sides of dialectics. And both of these explanations are truer than all the moderate explanations in between. Once you fully believe both, you spaz out, thinking nothing’s real. To believe either but not the other would be to become a paranoid. But fully believing both in alternating rapid succession moves the dialectic into resolution. Hard but worth it. Trust me.

I’ll run with anything that propagates hexagons, instigation of bipolar dialectic spaz-out, serotonin-upping, muscle tone, physical fitness/health etc.

We have 109 days of total neutrality, ability to reset things this year. These are the 1st 10 days of the month for the 1st 10 months of the year. Also 20ths + 30ths in the 1st 10 months. Bevare! Take care!

Nikki's innocence

I actually think Nikki Webster has talent. She can sing and is a good mover. But she’s been shoved into the child star box and she aint gonna survive. The world loves her innocent but precocious act. She doesn’t know that pursuing this line will end in disaster. Innocence and precociousness never co-exist like we think they do. But we love and are addicted to the fantasy that they do. If you’re innocent you’ll attract every mutherfucker who’ll think they’re screwing you over but are in fact making you strong. This makes you wise and anything but innocent. If you’re precocious, the talent you have will seem all the more striking given your "innocence". Yet it’s your very precociousness that tells you not to give up the innocent act, both for the striking thing (eg polarisation of Nikki’s captive audience – the nation), but also because of 2 reasons.
1) Gettting under radar. No-one suspects you’re really King of the Castle. You have an excuse once things fuck up. Just pout. No one realises you’re Lady MacBeth, Hitler’s wife, Damien 666, man.
2) Forgot
Anyway, to integrate personalities you have to help the patient freely admit to and talk about their innocent (or whatever) act. They have to be able to realise that they can expand their sphere of confidence to include both themselves and their friends. Keep the act up, but don’t let it become you. My friends have to be stricter with me and not let me pretend to be innocent. Someone needs to have a word to Nikki 2. Her face structure tells the story. She’s naturally got triangles everywhere already, ambitious little bitch. But she’s mastered that shitty Australian, Young Talent Time kind of fake innocent smile, raised eyebrow, wide-eye, triangles unsubtly forced into hexagons kind of thing. She’s rooted. Innocence is evil!

My philosophy, like all ideologies, will be calcified into inflexibility by unsympathetic interpretations. They will actually seem sympathetic. So I have to offer as much guidance as possible. However, all ideologies rise and fall like all things in the Universe. So fleshing out my ideas will give my ideology endurance, not indestructibility. Like all ideologies, it should be discarded as soon as it stops delivering benefits to humankind. Just like religions, political systems and technologies.

Passive aggression is rife with people of high bipolarity.

Evolution + bipolar + memes

One reason bipolar hasn’t been rooted out by evolution is that the wisdom gained in manic episodes helps the bipolar person prosper. But the rest of society looks at the eccentricities, bizarre beliefs, superstitions, mental illness symptoms, etc of the bipolar person + doesn’t wanna follow their path. So, by its nature, bipolar disorder has to exist only in the minority of the population. If it starts getting dominant, it will be the norm + thus cease to be reinforced by its apparent contradictory nature. One measure + cause of memetic dominance is popular culture, especially TV + music. Because they are dominated by bipolar people, this is becoming the norm. If someone breaks the floodgates in academia/politics/general consciousness, I think bipolarity will cease to exist. Good or bad thing? Dunno. I think I’ll lose my powers! Maybe I should shut the fuck up + just ride the pony to benefit myself without actually telling the world. Or I could publish in the twilight of my life. But there might be something inexorable about the revolution, + I’ll miss the wave if I don’t ride it.

Independence and bipolarity

I consider myself to have become an adult at 7, when Mum went into the nuthouse + I had to look after B. Childhood/adulthood shock is the most profound bipolar instigation you can have. I had my first manic episode at 23, 16 years later. Mum became an adult at 13 when her Mum died. Even though she was the youngest, she had to look after everyone around her because they weren’t as emotionally mature. She had to look after her alcoholic father. She had her first manic episode at 29, 16 years later.

One of the reasons IQ tests are worthless is because your intelligence (+ types thereof) is constantly fluctuating depending on your own willpower + various other cycles. If you have strong willpower you can make various cycles peak at certain times so as to ensure your intelligence (+ other talents) peaks when you need it to.

The hard thing about breaking out of bipolar disorder is the reconciling of the 2 personalities’ issues with each other. We all literally do have 2 personalities inside us. You pick the one you like +, depending on the extent of your illness, run with it absolutely. Actually, everyone has the illness. The ones that seem the sickest are the ones that have actually come the furthest - they’ve at least come out of denial, can see the the lack of truth in their own side. They have to give in eventually + slump into one side of their personality, otherwise they go schiz. Choice in life is which of the 2 personalities we’re in at any given time. They cycle differently + the end result is freedom of choice in everything. Bipolar people have a far stronger sense of themselves than anything else. This can lead to massive self esteem or massive self doubt, in different combos. Either way, it makes them jump personality often coz they see the senselessness of their own prejudices. But the strong sense of self finds anchor in the personality chosen (despite the deeper knowledge of its foundationlessness) + makes the person absolutely defend it. The jumps in choice are disorienting + you spaz out a bit. It can be tempting to hide between excuses like fate + determinism on the one side or blind triumphalism / hatred / lack of compassion on the other.
Anyway, such opposite emotions + the sense of self (that makes you wanna crush the other if you’re a survival junkie) make it hard to love the other, which is the same as loving the self + everyone else 2. If you don’t love the other, you can’t integrate.

My philosophy, like all ideologies, will be calcified into inflexibility by unsympathetic interpretations. They will actually seem sympathetic. So I have to offer as much guidance as possible. However, all ideologies rise and fall like all things in the Universe. So fleshing out my ideas will give my ideology endurance, not indestructibility. Like all ideologies, it should be discarded as soon as it stops delivering benefits to humankind. Just like religions, political systems and technologies. This will facilitate rapid movement between ideological extremes, speeding our movement along whatever part of the grand cycle we’re ultimately on. But movement is both regression and progress. Let’s not make Hegel’s mistake. Missing one beat in the understanding of bipolar dialectics leads to de-integration into either of the 2 extremes, both of which are traumatic + paranoid places to be in. Nihilism. Blind faith. Same thing, don’t realise it, hate each other. The brink of war brings peace. Threats induce compromise. Mutually assured destruction between 2 superpowers = mutually assured survival. One-sided wars produce sympathetic, patient victors + well-looked-after losers: enduring peace. Wars of attrition + stalemates bring uneasy truces, simmering frustration.

My take on dialectics is probably only the 3rd lowest level it can be grasped at. It’s probably the 2nd lowest it can be expressed at. Wittgenstein had it at the lowest level, but this made him oblivious 2 the fact that he was barred from expressing this in language. The lowest level, after all, is language. But, as he pointed out, you can’t describe language in its own terms. What W was trying to do was not to do this

Canada is a place of great dialectic resolution right now. Ditto NZ. Ditto Italy. The latter 2 have had it thrust on them / caused it itself by geography (peninsulas, angles) + profound (NZ) + rapid (Italy) political change. Canada is shown the mirror land of the US, the bizarreness of being wedged b/w 2 US bits, of having 2 languages in the one country, + of having strong European + New World influences. Of being a midlevel economy, medium influence. Bipolar city!

People can see that I’ve worked out heaps of stuff in my head. It’s magnetic. If they’ve worked out stuff themselves, they can work out that I’m ready to transcend my own prejudices. We then play games + teach life lessons. We match up logical deductions we’ve made in our own dialectics, wherever in logical space it may have been planted. Depending on our intelligence / life-experience, we see patterns at a really low, foundational level. The lower the level, the higher the number of patterns that are revealed to us. The more patterns, the more wisdom yielded. The more wisdom, the more dialectics resolved.

Way to bring yourself down from mania: think that you might be wrong. Have doubt. Stop believing your own theories. But before you do, preserve the chain of reasoning you went down to get to the conclusions. Most people can’t do it. Some can retain belief in the conclusions, but fucked if they can remember how they got there. They get successful coz they remember the patterns they should follow to be successful, but the reasoning? Nope. So I’m writing it down! Anyway, because manic people have to go into denial about their beliefs to get back down, the ones that hang onto the insights are the ones that can decompartmentalise their brains best.

Because there are an infinite number of cycles of various wavelengths affecting all other cycles like planets’ gravities affecting each other, all natural patterns viewed long-term end up being perfectly chaotic. There is no such thing as absolute one-way causation. Any movement is a dance, with the 2 dancers having the same subconscious intentions. They both cause each other. So there is no determinism. It’s free will. After all this time! But it’s a free will of two things which are halves of the same whole, split apart + trying to re-integrate for their whole lifetimes. The more they split + reintegrate, the more bipolar/volatile they become, and soon spaz out into a nirvana supernova. But the path is one jointly chosen, + in that way predestined, but in no other way. Ability to obsess with various cult religions, political systems, theories, practices, routines, etc, but the ability to swap + change between different life theories is a bipolar trait. Seems bad, but actually good.

Coming out of a bad childhood is definitely superman back from Krypton. It’s an advantage, not a detriment. People from normal houses should be given special consideration for getting into uni, not vice versa.

Numerology is real when you have the IQ to deal with it. But it’s also just like lithium - it leads to circularity, a more balanced, integrated approach to thinking of things + people. The purveyors of psychic stuff may only know this on a subconscious level. Nevertheless, their true self is trying to heal people with bipolar by tapping into their need for mathematical reassurance of the balance in life. We can heal each other with whatever extreme healing powers we’re born with as bipolar kiddies. And face it, we’re in a bad energy zone (but going into a good one). We need healing! Our subconscious minds are already doing it. People have realised this truth in their own strong areas of the ring of nirvana truth:

[diagram]

It’s my job to make it philosophically explicit. This’ll help heaps, accelerating the process. Thankgod I didn’t realise when I wasn’t balanced + experienced enough to handle it!

Pill popping

Our tongue doesn’t get to taste exactly how much of what kinds of substances are going into our bodies when we pop pills. So it doesn’t prepare our body for the impact. If the body is fed something that the tongue is not, there is no balance + the toxins will end up spewing 1-way back through the crusty tongue. Brush it! We should drink all our stuff, or eat it. We need to get as much of our nutrients from non-pill form as we can, or use a powder drink form.