Triangles and hexagons

I think triangles are unhealthy. When you’re depressed you hallucinate triangular patterns. Philosophers who use triangular structures in their philosophies are showing signs of mental imbalance and world-view fallaciousness. I think they’re exhibiting a misfocussed view of the dialectic structure. Instead of a circle, cycle, which is more healthy, dialectic-like, scientifically fruitful (theory of relativity, planet orbits, weather patterns, dynamic systems), natural, ying-yangish. Another positive structure is hexagons and tessellated hexagon

Whoredom

You know your life has fallen into whoredom when the only things you can find the many cigarette packets scattered on the floor are used drug baggies.

Rant about dialectics

The key to beating mental illness (reaching Buddhist inner contentment, feeling at one with god, reaching the pinnacle of the Maslow hierarchy, or just feeling wise + content in old age, whatever) is integrating the emotion and the intellect in your minute-by-minute everyday feelings, thoughts and actions. It’s the old science/rationalist vs theology/romanticist thing. You have to simultaneously attack your mental illness from physical/biological and cognitive machine-gun turrets. People always fuck up because they take psychiatric medication but sit on their asses. Or they rely on their willpower and life strategies and ignore their neurochemicals. You have to try to somehow find a way to spin the beachball Hegelian dialectic (relating to [nature/nurture] / [head/heart] ) so fast in your mind that you achieve “becoming” or nirvana. It’s fucken hard. Only a few people in history have probably done it. They had to have emotional intensity and strength and strong scientific thinking skills. They had to end up swinging wildly between the 2 so frequently and to such extremes that most of them got bumped off by full-blown bipolar disorder or just schizzed out on a manic bender. And because they had no psychiatric medication back then, they had to learn to consciously control their brain chemicals to prevent mental deterioration. Yoga, prayer, meditation, etc. Only the most extreme cases of bipolar were able to achieve genius/nirvana, and history has recorded their feats. Everyone else whose bipolar was bad but not absolute would end up raving on street corners because their Hegelian beachball didn’t spin fast enough to melt into nirvana. Mr Wendal has tried to warn us about our ways but we don’t hear him talk. Now moderate cases of bipolar can be treated with medication and live extremely positive and creative lives with dialectical therapy. Humans have a chance to finally achieve true Star Trek type civility and humanity. I’m gonna have to write my book in 2 versions: one for right-brain people and one for left-brain people. But my book will only solve one dialectic that will end up being the basis for one side of a future harmful dualism. Ying yang. Good with the bad. No such thing as progress, just timeless resolutions of dialectics becoming new components of dialectics in a massive infinite flux. All you can really know is that movement is important. That’s where Hegel fucked up: he thought history was resolving itself into a final static culmination through his own personal insight re the implications of dialectical philosophy. He should have learnt from Kant that our own reliance on physical experience (which experience emanates from us anyway) (and which reliance is natural because we need physical-world preoccupation to survive [although Darwinism as an explanation is circular because it relies on physical-world prejudice

Doing things you're not good at

It’s a sign of balance and maturity to pursue activities that you enjoy but are bad at. It means that you aren’t doing the activity to bolster your own ego or to further your career, which in turn is ultimately just an ego booster. (We only have a limited number of material needs when we’re in a good emotional state.) It also means that you’re not depressed, because you have no motives ulterior to the immediate enjoyment in activities, and immediate enjoyment can only be felt by the non-depressed individual.

Masculine rationality and masculine ADD

Males repeatedly claim to have more rational thought than females in arguments etc. One reason for this might be that women have more emotional intelligence and neural activity centres in emotional parts of the brain during confrontation. Another might be that men are wired to be more alert/"rational"/empirically-minded in high-tension situations. Emotions are dulled to allow violence. The tendency to this type of brain set-up in males explains why men suffer ADD 3 times as much as women. ADD people think clearly when the adrenalin flows. This doesn’t mean that men are right more often than women in arguments. Men ignore the equally as important emotional aspects of the issues. Quick prescription: E together
Long term prescription: Have designated segments of 10 min conversation in emotional/rational modes for each issue. Each person should occasionally alter their brain chemicals to mirror those of their partner.

Memetic evolution and future humans

Memes have huge influence on evolution of humans as our mental events influence our environment andour behaviour. Mass literacy, mass/pop culture, worldwide cultural homogenisation and the internet have taken memetic influence to the nth degree. We will lose traits that are socially disapproved of. We will lose traits that help us survive in the state of nature. Physically robust people might be an underclass. The underclass will have more kids, creating a dominant proportion of the population who are physically robust and good looking but who are under-educated, violent etc. Maybe this is an essential process that every civilisation goes through once memes take high prominence with increasing civilisation. The underclass revolts, ending civilisation, starting the process again.
Anyway, in an attempt to prolong the endurance of our own civilisation, we might find ourselves re-embracing eugenics and genetic manipulation. However, because science is dominated by people with certain brain make-ups (sense-oriented, rational, goal-oriented), only certain types of genetic expression gets noticed by science. For instance, sense-oriented, unintuitive scientists will never investigate whether a certain gene that plays a role in height also plays a role in types of psychic or intuitive ability. So our society would be further calcified as a clinical, rational, cold one. Some people want society to change so that our brain chemicals will in turn change. Eg Germaine Greer wants us to be less competitive so our testosterone goes down.
Such self-induced, ie memetic repression of evolved, traditional, physical/social traits will bring the same problems mentioned above. But which is worse? An unfit, decrepit society or a masculinist 1? Riddle!

My insights are original, so I’m fumbling around with ill-defined concepts and inadequate terms I’ve invented/appropriated to describe my ideas. If my ideas catch on and are elaborated and refined and scientifically examined, the path of intellectual growth I spawn might take a totally different direction to what I anticipate. My writings will seem trivial and even naïve to future readers. I’ll be misinterpreted by people without respect for seminal material and knowledge of time-lines and context. People will flock to the weaknesses in my reasoning and style (which are undoubtedly there, as anyone who understands my writings will realise I’m forced to admit. I’m aware of some of my weaknesses but can’t fix them, but there would be many more I’m unaware of.) like vultures! I’ll seem old-fashioned. Kind of like Freud.

The 5-sense orthodoxy

We’re living in the grip of an unquestioned 5-sense myth/orthodoxy. This is because the biggest cultureal revolution of the last 1000 years was the scientific one. Science has been successful so wields influence. Science is done by people with strong empiricist leanings. They have brain makeups that place emphasis on the 5 senses as we know them. They easily detach reason and concepts from sensory input with emotion muted. They don’t acknowledge emotion, non-5-sensual phenomenal experience, etc. So we learn sweet fuck all about the world of the non-5-sensual. We’re limited in our thinking. Rabid defenders of the reigning 5-sensual meme ridicule the FBI profiler, the psychic, the artist, the empath, the emotionally gifted. They remain delegitimised, meaning that they are not explored, not researched, not endorsed by science. Our growth is stunted.

Soccer and world peace

We have to harness the unifying power of sport to prevent war. Sport speaks to the masses. Control of sport = political control. The most obvious candidate for a sport to dominate the global political landscape is soccer. It can be used for bad or good. Even now soccer is bringing peace to Europe. Players in national leagues are from all over the world. Clubs in different national leagues play each other in continental leagues. Loyal fans, no matter how ignorant, have their racism melted by the fact that they unconsciously warm to ethnically different players on their local team. Their fervour for their team flows to their feelings for the players. Love for soccer forces people to take notice of foreign teams and international competitions. The World Cup is the biggest sporting event in the world. It’s a huge honour to be in the 32 countries to qualify. All this increases feelings of engagement, internationalism. Knowledge of the power of soccer is evinced by people who are scrambling to grab control of it. Jeff Kennett (fascist) trying to get support for a revamped national, commercialised, probably partly Kennett-owned league. The widow of Arkan (the Serbian war criminal taking control of his club and pouring the funds from her pop career into it. Liberal and Labor hacks fighting for control of the National League. Dominance of soccer as a political force will leave America and Australia isolated as the dying empire if something’s not done about our influence in the sport. Ownership of baseball teams will help you reach the Presidency but won’t give you broad global support.
I for one would rather soccer be the dominant sport because the players’ body types are healthy examples. You have to worry about the impact on IQ of head-butting, but this does keep the masses obedient.
Anyway, socialists need to infiltrate not only the media but also soccer.

Medical help for understanding my stuff

Brain chemicals affect cognitive ability. To understand someone’s way of thinking you have to emulate their brain state. I should publish my EEGs in different states so that readers can manipulate their brain chemicals to emulate mine. In the future many writers might preface their books with a set of EEGs to help with interpretation. Kind of like chords in music.

Structure, mental comfort and manipulation

All of us need structure to provide security, certainty and mental comfort. People with mental problems, particularly those that affect experience constancy, especially need structure. Structure for the population at large can be provided by religion, sport, work, TV schedules, video games, radio. Those that impose successful structures on the masses wield heaps of power. The structure can be impregnated with a latent message. The name of the structure itself can be invoked to force people to obey the structure’s dictates. It’s just how like artists – usually creative and suffering from experiential constancy issues – need structure within which to exercise their free-flowing creativity.
"It’s a freedom. A freedom in Christ" – Christian Television Association ad
"Arbeit macht frei [work is freedom]" – Nazi Germany slogan

Idea for terrorism

Get a shitload of pure cocaine and cut it with anthrax. Watch the yuppies die. If you have funds from bin Laden, take over a cartel and put anthrax in the whole supply. The money you get from selling it will fund your champagne mansion lifestyle in Brazil.

Borderline personality disorder + Good Cop/Bad Cop

Aspects of mental illness are cyclically reinforcing. Mentally ill behaviour can produce corresponding mentally ill brain states. The good cop-bad cop routine encourages the crim to split their behaviour towards the cops. One is a total demon, the other a total angel. When the crim behaves in this borderline way, you’d think that borderline brain states happen. Maybe this induces other borderline behaviour that is helpful for the cops eg emotionality, fear of rejection/need to please.

Idea for a movie

It’s the future. We quantify levels of affective disorder by EEG for everyone. People whose brain chemicals deviate more than 2 standard deviations from the norm are sent to another planet. They form government, do everything in their own way. Some offspring will have throwbacks to normality. Discrimination against them is intense.

Ideal revolutionary politician

The ideal one would be one with the talent for recognising genius and translating it for consumption by the masses. They need the flair and technique but also huge force of personality. Egs of people like this are Lenin, Madonna and Bowie.

Feeling and healing

With emotional problems the first step to health is to acknowledge your problems. You have to feel it to heal it. Eg you have to feel your anxiety as anxiety rather than hunger etc.
Acknowledgment of the problem is painful and makes you feel exhausted and weak and ashamed. But it’s like picking a splinter out of your finger. You can get by if you ignore the splinter. You’re proud of your ability to keep going in the face of adversity but in the long term damage will be done. If you go through the pain of picking it out, it all ends up OK.

Indians, hierarchy and serotonin

India has shitloads of strict castes. Even people outside the hierarchy are effectively subdued by it. In hierarchies, everyone suffers serotonin deficits except the people at the top. So Indians suffer heaps of serotonin disturbance issues. I’ve noticed a lot of them seem tense, depressed, distant.

It would be good if we could put mental health medicines into drinks so we can entice the patients to drink it. The health benefits would have to be immediate so that the patient would associate the taste with the good feeling.

Guerilla war, terrorism and propaganda

What’s the difference between armed resistance and terrorism? Is it the murder of innocent civilians? No. Israel and the USA slaughter countless civilians both directly and through economic means. Is force against an incumbent government terrorism? No. The USA subverts governments; Israel uses force against the Palestinian Authority. Is it the use of suicide bombers? No – the IRA doesn’t use them. Effective knowledge of probable casualties in conflict on the part of Western governments is quasi-suicidal. Is it racial or religious? No. The IRA is Christian and white. Timothy McVeigh was political, not religious. Is it starting the violence? No, of course not.

Lies as habit

We’ve evolved to direct a lot of energy towards attracting sexual partners. So we put a lot of effort into putting a good image out. So we lie a lot. Shame might be a trait evolved so that we’re conscious of projecting an acceptable image. For some people lying is hard so they have to go into denial – that is, convince themselves of the lie. So denial might be an evolved trait. People with no shame don’t reproduce: the homeless man screaming about the end of the world, etc.

Old people wisdom

We should heed the words of old people who have been out of menopause for 5 years and are living personally successful and content lives. Especially females because they’ve spent 50 years in the grip of the gentle subservient haze of oestrogen overdose, exacerbated by widespread use of the pill. These chicks were so dulled that they were easy prey for nasty-ass misogynistic blokes. To cope, they had to develop amazing survival skills. When menopause liberates them, they get flushed with testosterone, increased sex-drive, etc, coupled with amazing adaptive skills. This is one of the reasons for women’s longer life span in most countries. A good indicator of misogyny and homophobia in a country is the proportional difference between male/female life expectancies. Jap chicks live long. Tough mutherfuckers in a tough environment.

Pot and bipolar

We need to research the effects of pot on neurotransmitters and specific areas of the brain of people with bipolar. I think we’re a different species that is just extreme-driven in both character and brain chemical activity. The tension of the traumatic fluctuations of life for us makes our stress hormones constantly high. Any outside inputs (sensory, emotional, chemical, etc) drag us to the extreme with huge speed and power. We’re slaves to our environment. When our stress hormones plummet after THC, we feel relaxed as and the serotonin surges. So taking THC probably is a bit like taking MDMA for us. So constant THC consumption fucks out our serotonin-producing ability. That’s the tension issues we get on withdrawal. And that’s why long-term pot use makes us schiz out. Ditto with schizophrenics. So instead of the shit we’re on now, we really need a chemical that depresses stress hormone production, small amounts of a mood stabiliser, and Ritalin depending on how

Sexually unbalanced clients

If our masculinist society didn’t pressure men into absurdly masculine roles in their sex life with women, men wouldn’t have to go and get fucked by gay boys behind their wives’/girlfriends’ backs. They come to gay boys to get fucked because they need sexual balance, like all humans. Completely prohibited from being feminine in their out, straight life, they need to completely submit to make up for it in their secret life.

Video games, ADD

I should play video games (high-stress ones) to put myself in a good mood. The rush of adrenaline will alleviate ADD symptoms by boosting dopamine production. Just like the rush I’d get that would make me a cool cucumber during exams. No wonder I’m such a confrontation/drama queen. A Melrose lifestyle is a serene lifestyle for me and my kind.

Chemical sensitivity syndrome

I think one syndrome in the affective disorder spectrum is chemical sensitivity syndrome or whatever. Actually chronic fatigue and allergies too. When I used to come to Sydney for the holidays I used to have a blocked nose within 4 days of arriving that would clear after a week of being back in Dubbo. It was caused by pollution, fumes, dust, mould, humidity. I think I have a slight case of CSS. I need to get a huge allergy test done, stop smoking, quit pot, quit peanut butter, vacuum house, clean mould out, etc. My mental health will benefit.

People I haven’t E’d with

No matter what the situation there’s always an obstacle to intimacy for me with people that I haven’t E’d with or had sex with. They give you such a rush and you really dig the person coz you’re in a great mood. The moral of the story is that people with brain chemical problems should E and have sex with lots of people to avoid the isolation from other that mental illness imposes.

If you wanna persuade someone that’s insecure and conservative you should wrap the point in premises and implications that are comforting and familiar. For rebellious/confident/liberal people you should use striking/surprising/revolutionary language.

Serotonin makes you care about things. It makes you relaxed enough and feeling positive enough to appreciate things and value them and motivated to put effort into things you value. It makes you passionate. Dopamine gives you some level of broad, general motivation. It makes you alert and able to perform, and makes your movements fluid. It gives you a kind of energy. When you have low dopamine but enough serotonin to care about a goal enough to actually want to be motivated to do it, you can use a number of tactics to up your dopamine.

Socialist plot with Oprah

I reckon we should get a leftie celebrity (the bigger the better eg Paul McCartney, Sting, Bono) to butter up Oprah Winfrey and flatter her ego about her influence and authority in the American community and convince her she should use it to further certain causes on her show.

My accent

My accent’s fucked! It’s coz I’ve moved around so much. When you get to know people you have to get in tune with them. You do this instinctively and mostly unconsciously. You do it by echoing/responding to their body language, supplying visual and verbal encouragement cues, by tempering your expressed view so as to be more compatible with their views, making your language fit with the other person’s language ability, sticking to subjects that the other person is interested in/likely to know about, etc. The best way to do it is to put as little conscious effort into it as possible and just go with the instinctive actions that flow out of you when you wholeheartedly adopt a certain character.

Because I’ve had to do this with my accent so many times as I’ve moved around in terms of both geography and class, I don’t know what the fuck my accent is.

Giving up

One reason it’s hard for me to give up stuff is that when I’m trying to stop myself from having some I can’t think of all the reasons I should stop. I’ll anticipate the feeling of the drug with such clarity that I don’t need to think of it at all. The niceness of the feeling and the desire for escape from dysphoria spontaneously conjure reasons for taking the drug.

I make up reasons I shouldn’t do drugs when I’m in a clear state of mind, but when I’m spaced out I can’t remember them all, but will only remember the least important of them. Because I run with my instincts when I’m ADDing, the cons of the drug I can muster into recollection don’t generate enough motivation not to do drugs, and I end up running with the imagined bliss and doing the drug. So I have to write a list of the cons and get them out when I’m trying to stop myself.

I think you can push your sexuality one way or the other with conscious effort/practice. You can only sway it a little bit. The amount you can change it depends how much your sexuality draws on extraneous signals rather than emanates spontaneously from yourself.

Because our society is homophobic, sexuality becomes a dualised hetero/gay thing. When something is taboo, and it’s in you (+ it’s in all a ya!), you can’t stop thinking about it, you wanna scratch the itch so bad that you have to overcompensate and denounce it loudly to divert attention away from your obvious state of sexual arousal. So everyone has to be in one camp or the other (no bis allowed) because everyone’s obsessed with the hetero/homo divide.

So hetero women are often hetero by default because they would be excommunicated by our masculinist community (their parents included) and because they are so deprived of full, intimate, loving sex and have had their sexuality hijacked by capitalism that they really have no idea of what their sexual desires are.

And hetero men strive to prove their straightness by posturing masculinely, wolf-whistling at female bodies that are so thin they wouldn’t be able to menstruate and thus are infertile and evolutionarily sexually undesirable etc. They focus on women’s bodies so much through porn + TV etc that they actually sway their sexuality.j It’s a kind of self-medication for the closet fag, pornography.

Chicks wanna keep up with the barbie dolls their closet fag boyfriends masturbate over. They get anorexic.

Our economy is run by people who suffer hypomania, and, in some cases, full-blown mania or bipolar disorder. The people who run the economy are the people who run big business. People who run big business usually suffer from affective disorders with some measure of mania. Anyway, to suck in an entrepreneur you have to appeal to their desire for change. This is because business people, being manic, are constantly seeking change, or are at least excited by the idea of change. An example is those wanky business solution / IT ads. These ads manipulate the entrepreneur’s impetuosity. They always use bright, often primary or neutral, colours + smooth, sharp lines for their graphics and text. Graphics + text often move. These appeal to the affective mood disorder (AMD) person’s need for high visual stimulation. Visuals of people, offices + computers are in black + white or in bright, highly lit + sometimes exaggerated colours. They ram in a bunch of buzzwords. Buzzwords in themselves appeal to the AMD person because they’re always after the new. But the buzzwords these ads boast are like: technology (new), dynamic (movement, change), integrate (movement, change, aggression, penetration, growth, positive), system (movement, structure), network (growth, structure), streamline (structure, change, movement), solutions (goal achievement, progress, change, positive, structured goal achievement), expand (change, movement, positive, aggression), adapt (change, positive, perilousness), converge, applications, create, innovative, etc. Also words that are nouns made into verbs, imparting a sense of movement.

A fault of mine

I have to admit that I don’t often recognise/notice things unless they fit into a pre-existing theory or plan of mine. It’s like how I don’t even notice what shop I live next door to unless and until I have a need to go to that kind of shop. I also give less credence/attention to phenomena/theories/reports that don’t fit into my worldview.

This is a symptom of ADD. You can only be in one head state/emotion/way of thinking at the one time. Of course this is bad because it makes you prejudiced, stubborn, blinkered, etc. It makes you obsessive. But it’s also good because it makes you able to concentrate on detail so intensely that you can analyse things down to the most nuanced distinctions of meaning/logic. You can also pursue chains of reasoning to great length before falsity kicks in. This is because your grasp of the concepts involved is so precise and your tiny jumps of logic so neurotically particular and accurate that you preserve truth for a greater length in lines of reasoning. In fact, because the ADD person’s hyperfocus is so obsessive, they actually make more tiny jumps of logic in between signpost premises (those premises that you announce when explaining your reasoning) than normal people. The more tiny jumps of logic you make, the more assumptions are removed and terms/symbols retain precise meaning (since definitions of terms/symbols consist partly of chains of reasoning). Since retention of meaning of terms/symbols is helpful to true reasoning, it works in a cycle. This can be good for maths ability.

Leibniz was a great mathematician and philosopher. He was also so obsessive about his work that his legs atrophied because of the amount of time he spent writing at his desk. When Newton and Locke took the empiricist side of the epistemological debate and Leibniz took the rationalist side, little did they all know that they were all in the same boat. None of them could overcome their prejudices to realise that they were both right within their own chosen chains of reasoning. Kant, the first person to enlist both empiricist and rationalist philosophies as pillars within a broader philosophy (and thus denying their validity as stand-alone philosophies), showed great integrational skill, which in turn causes the bearer of this skill to have a more holistic world view. Kant only made his breakthrough late in life after dabbling in both philosophies as stand alone entities. The wisdom to adopt and pursue a holistic world view only comes with age. The guts and drive to pursue gains within your chosen half of a dialectic happens in your youth when you can make enormous gains within your lines of reasoning. These gains will end benefiting us all once the given dialectic is solved. But you’ve gotta try to mature and be holistic.

Anyway, people with affective mood disorder and great analytical ability (which, by the way, all AMD people have in at least one field or another) should pursue the attainment of holistic theories/approaches so that they don’t write off stuff that doesn’t fit in. If this is hard, try taking Ritalin coz it makes it a lot easier.

So this is a lesson for me: I’ve gotta try not to be so swept away by my own ideas that I’m dismissive of other people’s ideas. That’s just plain arrogant because the truth of the matter is that I’m just further along a truer line of reasoning than they are, or on the other half of the dialectic to them. Either way, both of our frameworks are invalid and senseless at all times. That is not to say that the progress in chains of reasoning is not valuable. But just take a humble pie chill pill!